In one of the most popular songs from the hit children’s show Spongebob Squarepants, the yellow protagonist exclaims, “F is Friends who do stuff together.” In essence, that is what friendship is about. Having a companion to share moments of happiness, sorrow, fear, delight, joy, and the mundane. To have a friend is to have someone who is by your side. Perhaps the F in Friends might symbolize forever, in which we tend to befriend people we want to form lasting relationships with.
However, why do we crave friendships? What components make up a friend? More importantly, with an increasingly digitized community where communication takes place largely online, how do we create new bonds on the web?
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF FRIENDSHIP….
As a Process
In the foreword of the Anthology The Psychology of Friendship, 5 characteristics were described to compose a “friendship.” The first component of friendships is the voluntary nature of it. Unlike kinship, friendships are created through organic means. Whereas we are all born into a family of pre-established relations, we create friendships through various social interactions. By doing so, we are directly in charge of our dynamics and have the power to strengthen (or distance) our relations.
Second, we engage in friendships on a personal level; this is to say, we interact with people beyond just surface-level talk. Third, friendships are affective or, rather, include intense emotions. For a bond to flourish, there must be some openness to vulnerability among one another. The last two are mutual and equal. There must be a consensus on why you guys choose to be spiritual companions. Additionally, it is important to remember that you are equally as important as the other; in doing so, the foundation is solidified as something organic, true, and pure.
As a Powerful Emotion
The power of friendships should not be underestimated. The antonym of friendship, loneliness, has been deemed a silent killer. Loneliness has several health side effects, including chest tightness, muscle pain, digestive issues, stress, and anxiety. Loneliness can also lead to restlessness, which can cause fatigue, burnout, and irritability, negatively impacting a person’s outlook and causing them to be despondent. This is where the power of the F in Friendship comes along. According to the American Psychology Association, these friendships can undo some of the physical symptoms of loneliness, like decreased blood pressure, and give individuals an overall happier outlook on life. These bonds also allow individuals to learn from others, gather traits on how to be empathic and a good listener, and allow people to develop a support system they can fall back on when times get tough.
DURING COVID
In March 2020, when the World Health Organization declared the COVID-19 virus a pandemic, the world shut down. Non-essential businesses were closed, schools were shut down, and people worldwide were urged to isolate themselves at home to stop the spread of the virus. In this process, individuals took a hit to the daily activities that made up their day, including human interaction with friends, peers, coworkers, and passersby on their way to various places. The demographic to take the biggest hit were adolescents, who utilized school and the workplace to socialize. The limitation on in-person interactions forced people to find other means to communicate virtually.
A recently published study found that adolescents used devices like texting and video chatting to bridge the physical gap between one another, where boys were more likely to engage in socialization through gaming and girls took to social media to interact. Statista.com reported Facebook as the most used social media platform in March 2020, with 78.1% of adults using it, proving the website to be an efficient and valuable way to keep in contact with family and friends during the peak of the pandemic. Instagram closely followed at nearly 50% usage from adults, showing a surge around the exact time the lockdown began.
Making Friends Online
Facebook, X (formerly Twitter), and Instagram are not the only ways to connect with people during challenging times. Statista.com reports that over 5 billion people actively use social media. Apps have been created specifically for making new connections for those who are seeking new friends but might be having a hard time doing so.
BUMBLE FOR FRIENDS
Most social media users are familiar with Bumble, the famous dating app that generates potential romantic partners for users based on location and “swipes.” A byproduct of the popular dating app, Bubble for Friends was established in 2016 as the spiritual counterpart. Using the same algorithm and user setup, Bubble for Friends has users create a profile where they fill out a little virtual questionnaire with personal facts and quirks and can immediately start swiping to find potential platonic matches within the area. Once a mutual match is made, users can instantly spark a conversation to start a blooming friendship.
Another unique feature is the option to have group meetups, where 2+ matches have the option to discuss a potential meetup. Bumble for friends uses the popularity of swiping matchmaking and location to provide users with possible friendships. It takes the awkwardness of first impressions by allowing people to get familiar with one another’s personalities beforehand. An alternative for Bumble BFF is Wink.
MEETUP
Whereas Bumble for Friends predominantly focuses on 1:1 friendships, the app MeetUp focuses on group events and immersing yourself in group festivities. The MeetUp ad allows users to freely explore local events and networking opportunities to meet potential pals. Usually, the events are organized according to specific hobbies or professions, so it is a good opportunity to indulge in a familiar activity with people you might not know.
STAYING AT HOME
Not everyone is so eager to meet in person right away, as it is daunting. There are also apps for those, such as Slowly, a letter message app service that mimics the process of real penpalling. Users are free to send virtual letters to virtually anyone in the world (who is signed up on the app). The time it takes to send and receive messages varies based on the person’s distance, so it replicates the process. This is a refreshing alternative for people who just need someone to talk to without the pressure of meeting face-to-face.
The Pursuit of Friendship
Though creating friendships and bonds on social media is not a foreign concept, the changing dynamic of our social world might make it harder to create these bonds. With people becoming increasingly independent, forming new, authentic, genuine relationships might be daunting. By understanding the innate traits and desires for us to create these connections, we can become more socially aware of how impactful friendship can be. With the introduction of apps designed around making friends, the anxiety of introducing yourself gets replaced by a common understanding that we are all human and crave interaction.
